Stealth Poop

It is a Federal Holiday weekend in America, and that means there is an influx of tourists at the beaches of North Carolina. With many of those tourists are their Poop Delivery Systems (PDS). Let me pause right here to declare that I have nothing against PDSs. I have two of them, myself. What I am vehemently against are tourists (as well as residents) who do not disarm poop left by their PDS, and it is a widespread failure during high tourist volume. The community where I live has budgeted for Poop Disarmament Stations (okay, we’re going to have to abandon the acronyms at this point) about every 100 feet. While some Poop Delivery System managers may feel they have legitimate reasons for leaving armed poop laying about, most of which have to do with ickiness (hey, when you signed up for a Poop Delivery System you signed up for icky), in the end it all boils down to profound inconsideration. This leaves me having to maintain a Poop Detection Spotlight every time I deploy my Poop Delivery Systems in low-light conditions in order to defend against Poop Damaged Shoes. Leaving aside the obvious costs to me, personally (because, who cares, right?), armed poop is a significant detriment to the community. It is fundamentally unhygienic, attracts vermin, and, contrary to common uniformed opinion, it has zero nutritional value to lawn and landscape. So, please, when you deploy your Poop Delivery System, we can all avoid investments in Poop Detection Spotlights and clean-up of Poop Damaged Shoes if everyone would make use of the Poop Disarmament Stations and Pick-up Dog Shit! Many thanks in advance!

I dedicate this, my first blog post, to the blog site “Chocolate Or Poop, authored by Amy Taylor, for so ably demonstrating to me that it is entirely okay to write about poop in a public forum.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s